“I would stare at a map of Delaware for hours.”–Ken Jennings
“Men read maps better than women because only men understand the concept of one inch equaling 100 miles.”–Roseanne Barr
directile dysfunction**–noun
1. The inability to read a map, or follow simple directions, generally caused by over-dependence on GPS monitors.
2. A wrong turn or disorientation caused by dysfunctional GPS software.
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Away back in the 20th century, my wife referred to the malady described in the first definition above as geographical dyslexia. She suffers from it. I actually use her as a sort of reverse GPS–the surer she is we are going the right way, the surer I am we are lost. Now all we need is a neologism for whatever ails Ken Jennings. Any suggestions?
**OK, I admit it. After thinking this one up, I Googled it and discovered it already exists in the urban dictionary, but c’mon, it’s just too good not to use.
